Friday, December 28, 2012

Blogger's block

I have several ideas throughout the day about things I wanna write here, questions, comments or just a story about something that happened today and made me laugh. Yet every time I open this blank space to write something down its like my mind copies the screen and just goes empty.
I can't remember the words, the inicial thought, the idea behind what I wanted to say, so I try to force something out; "just write something to get the juices flowing and it'll come back to you" I tell myself. Needless to say, it doesn't work.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Turns out 12/12/12 was a magical date afterall.

I was accepted into the graduate program I applied for (with no hopes what so ever of getting in) and still in time to apply for scholarships.

What say you to that, Ms. Simone?

Sunday, December 9, 2012

RE: Muggle's Magic

   I have always loved words, they are my favorite part of life. To me lyrics are the best part of a song, conversations the best part of a relationship and the caption the best part of a picture. I am not one of those people who can express thoughts and ideas through drawings and music. I feel satisfied, or giddy and even exhausted. Loose letters are as inviting as a box of crayons and some crispy white paper.
   They yield fantasy magic in the real world, magic we are so used to that we tend to overlook.  A combination of letters can make you sad, can make you smile, can make you think, just like any spell would. Harry Potter has imperio, and scourgify and the jelly-leg jinx. But don't commands like go and come, make us do things? Words like sorry and regret can sometimes clean up the situation better than any mop. And doesn't "I love you" coming from a powerful enough caster do the same thing to your legs?
   Just like spells, words themselves only hold half of their power. The actual magic has to come from the person. Which is why I have cultivated for a long time the little habit of collecting them. Once I've collected it that word is mine, and mine alone. Nobody else can steal its meaning, nobody else can use it to hurt me. It might have been a self defense mechanism created by my young brain against bullies and dementors alike. Words like fat, and bitch, and slut are mine. I've heard them so many times I've decided to collect them. Now that they are mine they have no effect on me. I will use it so often it will lose it's meaning, it will lose it's power. Gay at one point meant happy, and after years and years of over use it has become synonymous to homosexual. And each of my words are being molded by me, one at a time to mean something else.
   The spell fat has lost it's power to make me cry. Bitch is not the right curse for making me angry, and slut doesn't intimidate me anymore. I've taken to challenging my boggarts to come up with cleverer disguises, to insult me in newer and more imaginative ways. To supply me with new and more polished words and make my collection, and myself in return, grow with each addition. And they have to, because the thought of somebody using one of my own words against me it's simply riddikulus 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.

In response to this blog post by Elizabeth Fierro, on the HPA blog.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Stay Happy

I just saw that on my twitter feed and it just seemed like the easiest thing in the world. It is a very simple recipe, really. Get happy, than stay that way.
Shit happens all the time and there's nothing we can do about it. In fact, here in Brazil we have a saying; Não há mal que sempre dure, nem bem que nunca acabe.  Roughly, there are no goods that last forever, nor bads that never end. 
What I think most of us struggle with is remembering that this does apply to both sides of the coin. When you are sad it does seem like it will last forever, and its hard to get out of the funk and do something.
I have adopted the course of immediate action. If I am sad, I will immediately do something that has the possibility of changing that. Just lost a job? Apply for a new one right away. I didn't get into the school I wanted? Look for an alternative course that is just as interesting.
Most of the time those immediate actions don't take me anywhere, but they do shine a light at the end of the tunnel. They keep me reminding me that this bad won't last forever and that as long as I keep moving I'll get there as fast as I can.

Maybe its not about staying happy, but to keep moving.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The need to create

     Have you ever had an uncontrollable urge to create something? To give shapes and colors to my thoughts and feelings? To stop intaking so much of the world and for once put something out into it? To paraphrase from John Green's The Fault in our Stars, I need to make constellations out of the stars that are my thoughts.
     I consume so much media, from books, to music, to movies and tv shows. Yet I don't make ANYTHING. At all. Even my breakfast is comes already made out of two separate boxes.
     I have bought a 100 pack of colorful markers and a children's coloring book. I made a collage of old page markers I had lying around. It is still not enough. I've started a blog and actually wrote a few things I'd like to post on it, which remain unpublished.

     But like a druggie, my body is just jonesing to let something out, and I'm not sure what that is.

   To be continued?


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Think before, and while, you shop.

    Retail workers are people too.
    People should be required to work at least a week in retail before being allowed to shop. Like a shopping license that you were only able to get after having had lessons on common courtesy, humbleness and most of all inside voice.
    As I wear my retail worker shoes, I've noticed that I became a much better costumer too. I don't walk into a store make a mess and leave it because there are people there whose job is to clean it up. You don't call 911 when you don't have an emergency just because that is their job.
   "Hello? Fire Department? Yes, please come earn your pay, you lazy bastards."



Wednesday, November 7, 2012

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